Today I listened to a podcast. It was one of the episodes from the Modern Love series, where people read essays written by other people on love, something that I’m forgetting, and redemption. I can’t remember the title of the episode (because I think I might just be a case of borderline short term memory loss), but it was basically about this writer who befriends his 80-something-year-old neighbor and falls in love with her, but all that while they are just “friends.” The best kind of romance, he says, sometimes comes out of friendship.
I agree. Sometimes I wonder what is the distinction between friendship and love. I don’t mean the sexual kind of love, but more like that warm feeling that someone makes you feel, or the thrill and wild eyes that someone brings out in you, or even that simple emotion of pure, unrestrained happiness that being around someone gives you. It’s just chemistry. Your body, mind and soul just like the way your vibrations interact with someone else’s vibrations, until you feel like the two of you are vibrating in the same plane, locked together in a comforting state of dynamic equilibrium (if you couldn’t already tell, chemistry is my thing).
I have loved deeply and had my heart broken. That love was perhaps one of the most real feelings I have felt in my life, and it is something that I will carry with me forever. I am grateful for everything I learned from it. But the point is, that love was just based on a misplaced fantasy. And I called it love because, yes, it was a highly magnetic attraction that just consumed me and never left me for one second since I laid eyes on this guy.
For a long time, I thought that was my one epic love. I mean, it will always be my one epic love. But, it doesn’t end there. In fact, now that I think about it, falling in love does not necessarily have to be the way I fell for this guy. I think I fall in love every day with someone I meet. Simply because they lift me up and give me the hope, energy and smiles to get me through the rest of my day. And that love, so light and blissful, is perhaps the best form of love that my healing heart can handle right now.
I know that a lot of this sounds like what a person “in love” might say. But bear with me. I think that friends can change your world in ways that “love” can’t, because although friendship may not be “love,” it is love. While navigating romantic relationships may be a hot mess of complications, drama, and possibly unrealistic expectations, friendship is more often than not (at least if you choose your friends wisely) the exact opposite. It’s as smooth and easy as spreading peanut butter on a piece of toast – you can keep layering it up and still not feel like it’s too hard to handle. And once you feel at peace with yourself and your life, you stop focusing on what the world around you calls “love” and start to open your eyes to how alive your friendships make you feel. Or at least, that’s the way I feel.
I am just writing this in an attempt to make my thoughts loud and clear and cohesive. I am in love. With not one, but all of my good friends. Because they make me who I am; because when we are together it’s electric; but most of all, because our vibes are like the explosions that lead to new discoveries and potential miracles. So thank you, my wonderful friends (and the not-quite-friends-but-still-inspirational people I get to meet from time to time), for I am nothing without you.